As someone who finds it difficult to make friends (thanks introverted nature), I’m always interested in reading thoughts, reflections, and research on the nature of friendships. Here are some recent ones that have been percolating in my brain:
How Our Housing Choices Make Adult Friendships More Difficult – “But when we marry and start a family, we are pushed, by custom, policy, and expectation, to move into our own houses. And when we have kids, we find ourselves tied to those houses. Many if not most neighborhoods these days are not safe for unsupervised kid frolicking. In lower-income areas there are no sidewalks; in higher-income areas there are wide streets abutted by large garages. In both cases, the neighborhoods are made for cars, not kids. So kids stay inside playing Xbox, and families don’t leave except to drive somewhere.”
How Friendships Change in Adulthood – “We aren’t obligated to our friends the way we are to our romantic partners, our jobs, and our families. We’ll be sad to go, but go we will. This is one of the inherent tensions of friendships, which Rawlins calls ‘the freedom to be independent and the freedom to be dependent.'”
How to Make Friends When You’re a Grown Up – Proximity, unplanned reactions, privacy.
Dear Sugar Podcast: When Friendships End